I just ate an avocado and hummus sandwich. Delicious. Why are the pits in avocados so large? There could be so much more avocado in there if the pit would stop hogging all that space. Are you listening science? This is a job for you!
Last weekend I took a group out to my grandparents' property in Sequim, Washington. There are perfectly good cabins to sleep in, but I spearheaded an effort to sleep outside on the perfectly good ground. It was cold. Like, "only poke your nose out of the sleeping bag to breath" cold. A couple of us tried to sleep on the ground, a couple more in the trees. Just as we were starting to freeze to death, drift off to sleep, people started yelling at us and pointing lights in our faces. Like a terrible 'Hunger Games' nightmare come true.
At first we thought it was some kind of joke, but then one of the helpful officers yelled, "This is not a joke!" Thanks for clearing that up new friend! They loudly insisted that we take our hands out of our sleeping bags, which we all did, except Tristinn, who was trying to fulfill her dream of being water-boarded.
As it turns out, someone in the area had mistaken us for burglars and called the local sheriff. An honest mistake I guess.
My hip-hop album drops next month.