Lion

Lions are Apex predators. This means that they are the top of the food chain. The best at what they do. Like Alban hunting freshman, they almost always take down what they set their eye on.

Lions are untenable outside of large game reserves or giant areas of largely uninhabited land. Such as Africa. So, unless you have a backyard capable of supporting a large herd of water-buffalo, you may want to think twice about adopting a lion. However, a baby lion fed a steady diet of nicotine will remain tiny, cute and manageable. Think Simba, pre-Hakuna Matata interlude.

Male lions live 10-14 years in the wild. This relatively short life span is due in large part to wounds sustained fighting other lions for food, women and access to health care.

Lions are natural lovers. Their name, similar in many of the "Romance Languages," is derived from the Latin name, Leo, and the Hebrew name, Lavi, which are widely recognized as the sexiest names by etymologists, whose own mating rituals are not fully understood. Lions, like most humans, are blessed with sexual dimorphism. This means that there are obvious distinctions between males and females. This makes hunting at night more enjoyable for everyone.

The Tickle Closet thinks the Lion is an ideal pet for well established, middle-aged couples, looking for a challenging project. However, we advise against using it to try an legitimize your grandchild's bland, jungled-themed birthday party.