Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Booger Foul

(Notice: no picture due to the graphic nature of this post.)

I'm busy making black boogers. All day long, that's what I do, I mean, that's what I'm doing. Sure I'm chopping, trimming, raking, tarping, dumping, sweeping, etc. but that's all sand in my noyster. And every evening in the shower, with the aid of a Iranian water inhalation ceremony, out come the pearls ... black and beautiful. Sometimes I wonder what boogers the other estate-members/dirty-ponchos are making this break. I'd guess

David's making sun-burn boogers – flakey, red, hard.
Cody's making book boogers – sterile.
Alban's making the same boogers George Washington made – Alban'd have to tell you what they're like, he and G-Wash are boos.
Phil's making janitorial boogers – think "vacuum-bag contents" ... in a booger.

It's the truth, and the truth isn't always pretty. But if blogs aren't willing to call it as it's played then they shouldn't be reffing – black, white, salty.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Cherry Pie

David got into Law school.

So when it came time for family dinner this week, I gave him a call from the grocery store.

David, attempting to sound bored: What?
Alban: What's your favorite dessert?
David: Cherry pie.
Alban: Ha ha ha ha. Stop joking. Nobody likes cherry pie.
Cody, simultaneously in background: What? Cherry pie? Nobody likes cherry pie!
David, deadpan: I like cherry pie.
Tommy, to Alban: Tell him to try again.
Alban, to David: Nope. Try again.
David, becoming annoyed: Seriously, I like cherry pie.
Alban: How about ice cream cake?
Cody, in background: Yes! He likes that!
David, simultaneously on phone: No, ice cream cake is gross.
Alban, to Tommy: Do you like cherry pie?
Tommy: Nobody likes cherry pie.

Later, at home.

Phil: What's this?
Alban: Cherry pie.
Phil, making a "what is that funky smell" face: Ugh. Nobody likes cherry pie.

Friday, March 5, 2010

from Wall through Hamper to Blog

There is a creature in our house,
it watches while we're sleeping.
And sometimes when we we're gone to class,
I think it might start creeping

around our beds and bathrooms
and through our dirty clothes,
but exactly who this creature is,
none of us really knows.

David thinks its friendly;
Cody thinks its not.
Alban claims "It's our neighbors cat,"
and Phil said that he caught

a piece of its genetics
in a petrie dish he grew.
He said "It is perhaps either
a monster, or a shrew."

But I am still a skeptic,
about high-tech reliance,
and about the critter in our house
being defined by science.

I think it's far too smart for that,
I think it's far too clever,
I think it's Tinky Winky (just
disguised) in tight black leather.