Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Birds of a Feather

"What kind of bird are you?" This question was posed to me by an upcoming film that i am very excited about. But seriously. Think about it. To decide will require imagination and attention to detail. The quest may bring up issues you thought you'd thrust deep into the pit of your soul. Start by asking yourself some tough questions.

1. What shape is your nose (beak)?
2. Are you migratory or stationary? (Emily... you are migratory)
3. Do you have a large wingspan?
4. Do you flutter or flap?
5. Do you eat other birds and small rodents, or seeds and bugs?

I have a few suggestions based on almost nothing and some gut instinct.

Cody - South American Hoatzin. It is considered one of the smelliest birds and makes loud noises for no apparent reason. It also enjoys Mac&Cheese.

Jacque - African Grey Parrot. The African Grey is said to be the perfect mix of brains and beauty. They are extremely gifted when it comes to language. Some have even been known to write prose.

Emily - Common Tern. These birds are fiercely migratory and enjoy thrift stores.

Jessi - Snowy Owl. This owl survives harsh arctic winters by layering with tights and Smartwool socks. Further south, they are known to nest near Trader Joe's.

Chelsea - Horned Sungem. This Hummingbird can beat its wings up and down 90 times per second. It has a very fast metabolism which means that it requires frequent small snacks, consisting mostly of Taco Bell and fishy crackers.

Alban - Hawaiian Honeycreeper. These beautiful birds attract mates with songs that feature nasal squeaks and whistles. They are extremely rare. And major creepers.

Phil - Ostrich. An ostrich at the London Zoo was found to have eaten an alarm clock, a roll of film, and a bicycle tire valve. Phil happens to enjoy photography, cycling, and waking up in the morning. Also, all of these things make more sense than eating fish sauce.

Tommy - Wandering Albatross. This bird has one of the largest wingspans of all birds. It spends most of its life in flight, landing only to feed and mate. Just like Tommy.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

DMV Bigger Than Obama!

*Warning! This blog contains politics!*

I got a new car. She's a swanky 98' Honda Accord. She's low
maintenance and always there when i want her to be. My previous two cars were terminally ill, so i pulled a Newt Gingrich and traded them in for younger, blonder models.

Speaking of sleazy government workers, i had a little encounter at the department of licensing. I was trying to transfer my new car to my name and the lady at the counter accused me of changing the date of sale on the title. She told me that i would either need to get a new title or pay a $60 fine. I protested and she told me that she couldn't trust the validity of the title. So i asked her how me paying $60 made the title more trustworthy... She just looked at me and started re-explaining how a fine works. Probably not my most diplomatic move.

She was also unmoved when i pointed out that the date she was accusing me of forging was in the future.

This whole exchange left me wondering if anyone has ever had a pleasant experience with the government when it comes to licensing and cars. This needs to change.

Whenever i talk to people who are against Obamacare they always say, "How would you like the DMV to be in charge of your healthcare?" First, as far as i know, this isn't even a concern. I'm pretty sure the same people would be at your hospital. The only thing that would change would be how insurance and payments work. Right? Cody? Oh... also, quality healthcare would be available to a lot more people.

Second, I think that something the government could do to help ease people's fears, rational and not, about the government becoming more involved in healthcare would be to improve people's experience at the places they already come into contact with the government, like the DMV.

I don't know. Maybe i'm just mad about losing $60.

Once last thing, I watched a short video today of Milton Friedman trying to explain why greed and capitalism are good. He never actually explained why they were virtuous. All he did was point out the problems with Socialism and Communism. Pointing out the flaws in other things is not how you prove yours is the best.

It's like your girlfriend asking you if you think she's pretty, and instead of smiling and saying yes, you start to point out all the flaws her friends have. Not cool. And no, I am not speaking from experience.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Science & Progress & Valentines

Valentines Card circa 1910s. 



Top: (Alban, Phil, David)
Middle: (Cody, Jon, Jordan)
Bottom: (Projector, Jacque, N64)

Monday, February 6, 2012

A weekend to remember

These days I look back on the past with a certain longing. I've never been one to live in the moment, but now my visions of the past and future are as compelling as they've ever been.

While making my nightly mac and cheese this evening, I remembered the last time I used such an excessive amount of butter.

I drove back across the country from working on the east coast and visited law schools along the way. New York to Virginia to North Carolina to DC to Massachusetts to Maine to Michigan to Minnesota to Colorado to Berkeley to Seattle.

Part of what I miss so badly is family dinner™at the Estate. I talked to Phil this weekend and he waxed eloquent about the virtue of community. Yesterday, Alban left me a voicemail that sounded like his soul is crying out for our West Whitman community. I can't imagine a better life than one surrounded by the people I love while taking on the greatest challenges of our time (and by this I mean everything from world hunger to environmental destruction to greed--but back then it was Ginger-snap).

When I arrived in Seattle to crash at David's, Tommy was there (editorial note: I'm actually combining two trips, but don't worry about it). At some point during my stay, we were going to go play soccer, but hadn't eaten yet. I made Mac. With lots of butter. Mid-way through the game, David hobbled past me and moaned that I'd poisoned him. Tommy was darting around the field, drenched in his typical (and adorable) sweat. And the lights on the field cast our shadows in different directions only to be collected again at our feet.

If I could have died right then and lived forever in that moment, I would have.

Within the next decade we're starting a commune. Are you in?