Tuesday, April 19, 2011


The Leopard may be the smallest of the "big four," but it is definitely the sexiest. You're probably thinking, "what?... that doesn't follow at all." However, I think after a little analysis, you'll agree it probably doesn't matter.

First, the Leopard is well traveled. Their territory spans across eastern and southern Asia and Africa, from Siberia to South Africa. However, due to hunting and deforestation, they have been largely confined to sub-Sahara Africa. This is sexy for a couple reasons. First, as Alban would be quick to point out, a well traveled woman with a broad knowledge of culture and geography is undeniably sexy. Second, why would someone hunt something? Perhaps because it is a little mysterious? Even Dangerous? Also sexy.

Second, Leopards get what they want. Leopards are successful in the wild due largely to their opportunistic nature, adaptability, and tremendous speed. In addition, they are stealthy, strong and able to climb trees in a single bound. They dominate, kill and eat anything they can get their manicured paws on. Gentlemen, if a Leopard wants you, she will get you. This is scary, but also sexy. Like Tina Fey telling a ghost story in the dark.

Finally, Leopards are doing everything they can to restore the natural order of life. Leopards limit their production of babies to sustainable levels based on the availability of food so that no one will go hungry or be over hunted. Leopard mothers also save money on clothes by always wearing a sexy, Leopard print tracksuit. They try to live by Sir Elton John's advice, "You should never take more than you give, in the circle of life." Sexy.

The Tickle Closet thinks that a Leopard would be an ideal pet for a hip, laid-back 20-something who is looking for a sexy partner that is in tune with global social issues. A preference for Leopard print tracksuits is also a bonus.

This concludes our series on the Big Cats. As you spend time with your own snugly little jungle cat, take a moment to remember that even though you think your cat enjoys all the overrated comforts of suburbia, he is really dreaming of stalking large prey through the jungle or chasing down a herd of water buffalo. Watch your back, you never know when the wild will call.

Monday, April 18, 2011

The Cheetah

Don't worry, you didn't miss the vote. The cat series is not over yet. There is still one more cat after this. Wait for it.

The cheetah, according to Dave Thomas, is the most easily domesticated large cat. In Systematic Theology a few days back, DT shared a memory from his childhood in Africa of a family friend who adopted two orphaned cheetah cubs. As the days passed, the cheetahs became like living gargoyles over the familie's estate. On Saturday afternoons when DT and his family bounced up the long ruts in their friend's clay drive, the cheetahs would approach like spotted grey-hounds to investigate the visitors. "We were a little nervous to exit the car," he confessed, "but the cats were as safe as the doctrine of God's providence."

Dr. Thomas's childhood anecdote aside, cheetahs are no persian puss. Theses cats are infamous for their speed and veracity. Not only are cheetahs the fastest cat, they're the fastest mammal, clocking in at speeds as fast as, "Wow, that's fast!" and, "Dang man." The cheetah paw is unique, they're pads and claws don't retract, which means cheetahs aren't able to climb trees, and something about orange cheddar.

The TC thinks the cheetah is ideal for young families. Their quickness will keep the parents active and agile. Plus their gaurd-dog mentality will keep the house safe. Furthermore their domesticadability means they're safe to leave alone with the kids, which could potentially reduce the cost of babysitters significantly.

Warning to light sleepers: Dave Thomas also mentioned the cheetah's purr. I don't remember exactly what he said but it was something then a snare drum.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Weekend Update

In the past few weeks I've seen Phil, Abigail, Alban and Cody. And Tommy is coming to visit me on Friday. Sort of...

Phil and Abby taught me that Thai food is spicy. Both times. Also, Abby, why do you abbreviate your name that way? I think "Abi" would make more sense. No charge.

When Alban visited I watched him try and survive a vigorous round of questioning from new friend Jessi.
Jessi: "I like these cooking pots"
Alban: "Me too"
Jessi: "What do you like about them specifically?"
Alban: "ummm..."

Cody was the most recent visitor. We looked at UW law and managed to have a conversation with a guy who tried to get us to participate in some kind of "Orphan rent-to-own" program and a Mormon girl working on her Mission. Cody asked her if this was her first mission.
Cody: "Is this your first mission?"
Sister Howell: "No. This is my second. I got here three days ago."
Cody: "Where were you working before this?"
Sister Howell: "Salt Lake City."
Cody: "Isn't that market already pretty saturated?"

Tommy is arriving this Friday. I am expecting a few more pieces of quality dialogue.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Snakes on a Plain

Unfortunately, this post has nothing to do with Samuel L. Jackson. Also, I'm not very confident in my ability to express these kinds of thoughts... so... here goes.

I was reading the story of "The Brazen Serpent" yesterday. (Num. 21) The story starts off with the people traveling from Mount Hor to the land of Edom by way of the Red Sea. It sounds like the people were taking the scenic route in their travels, as they so often did. However, what really got to me is the next sentence. It says, "The soul of the people was much discouraged because of the way."

I was tempted to stop reading because i felt that i already had enough to think about for the day. However, i continued through the familiar story. Moses makes a snake and puts it on a stick and people are healed from their snake bites when they look at it. Take that modern medicine. I feel like the story of the Children of Israel is pretty formulaic. First, they don't get it and start complaining. Second, God removes his protection. Third, they beg for someone to "fix it." Fixing things is also a three step formula... ask Tommy. He gets it.

After the story, i started looking at the notes in my Bible. They say that God told Moses to use a brass snake because of its simplicity. It was obvious that a snake made of brass could not heal people. Because of this, some people "would not believe that simply looking at the snake would heal them." The notes go on to say that, "In His wisdom, He chose this way of displaying His power." By this they were required to show their faith in the "provision he had made." The Lord taught them that their sacrifices, in themselves, had no more power or virtue than the serpent of brass, but were, like that, to lead their minds to Christ, the great sin offering."

"If we are conscious of our needs, we should not devote all our powers to mourning over them. We are not to yield to discouragement, but to trust in the merits of a crucified and risen savior. God will never remove every occasion for doubt. He only gives sufficient evidence on which to base faith. It is our duty first to look."

I don't know how I'm supposed to help. Or what choices I'm supposed to make. Or what the plan is. Sometimes I feel discouraged because of the way. I need to look.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011


File:Lynx lynx poing.jpg

According to the bastion of information that is Wikipedia, the genus Lynx contains only four living species and a web browser. Meh. Go figure. American readers of The Tickle Closet are probably most familiar with the bobcat; however the lynx comes in Spain-ish(Iberian), Eurasian, and Canadian flavors as well. The Eurasian lynx is the largest of the lynx cousins, and both this and the Canadian varieties are known for their large footpadsperfect for a snowy climate. The bobcat and Iberian lynx are smaller cats that are better suited to more temperate climates.

According to ancient bestiaries (defined here as an awkward-sounding illustrated animal dictionary) buried lynx urine will turn into rubies. Accordingly, the lynx represents a sound investment opportunity, though if you are looking to turn your pet into cold hard cash, current market conditions favor the golden-egg-laying variety of goose.

Lynx are a good choice for pet owners who want the elevated status associated with keeping a wild cat at home, without the safety concerns or space requirements of larger cats. Lynx tend to be intelligent, easy-going creatures and get along well with other household pets, save rabbits—lynx enjoy those raw or with a light lemon-basil reduction.

The Tickle Closet believes the lynx to be an excellent companion for those young singles in a small apartment with other pets. They can be especially useful for attracting females (see: The Lynx Effect).