Friday, January 14, 2011

May I Proposition You?

Last week Tommy and I stood up and created a list of all the people who have gotten engaged lately. Maybe it's just me, but it seems like there have been a lot of people lately who have been making the move from just dating to being engaged. Now, personally, i don't really get what the engagement is all about. As far as the man is concerned, it's just more time he has to wait before he can... umm... legally... be the perfect husband? And I know it isn't about giving the bride time to plan a wedding because she started that long before she met you.

The only reason i can think of for being engaged is to give each person a major heads up. Being engaged seems to say, "Hey! If you don't change something, this is going to happen! You will have to spend the rest of your life with this one person! Or lose half of your stuff!" I don't know about you, but that sounds pretty scary. I do know a few couples who seem to have it all figured. And that is great for them. However, i have a proposition for the rest of us. I'd like to proposition you if i may...

Recent science suggests that humans were made to be monogamous in three year increments and then move on to share different things with different people. So, in light of this, instead of opting for the more traditional arrangement that currently has a less than 50% success rate, I think it would be interesting if people lived their lives in "combinations."

In a combination, a group of men and a group of women would coexist in a certain area. I haven't thought it out far enough to know if this would be in one house or one piece of property, or a community, but I'm leaning towards one piece of property with multiple buildings... I'm not sure. Anyway, in this living arrangement, each person would be able to draw on the collective talents of the entire group to meet their needs. Say one night you really wanted to do something musical, you would have the option of hanging out with Alban and I and making some music. Maybe after that you really felt like you wanted to go and have an intelligent discussion about the true purpose of education and how to raise children? In that case you would go and spend some time with Cody. And then after that you really wanted to have a good conversation with someone who would listen, not judge you, and provide some meaningful feedback. In that case Phil would be your man.

Now, i know that you are all thinking about the elephant in the room... Well, clearly that would be left to Tommy.

Just kidding... I think in this arrangement it would probably be best not to share that kind of thing with everyone. I think it would probably be best to have some sort of a functioning "marriage" situation that would allow two people to live in a committed relationship within the context of the combination.

Think about it... most people who consider entering a relationship say, "Man, i don't know. I really like these things about that person, but i really wish they were more... "musical," "athletic" or whatever. Now in this way, you would be able to have a meaningful relationship with someone, and not worry about that person being responsible for meeting all of your needs. It's sort of like taking vitamins to supplement your vegan diet. A "supplemented marriage" if you will.

This combination also makes life easier for those people who lack certain skills. Maybe you're not good at fixing stuff or balancing a checkbook? I'm not a good cook. But that problem would be solved if i lived in a combination with Phil because he's a fantastic cook. Actually, as i think about this... Phil is a good cook, well read, sensitive, funny, athletic, and manly... Phil might be one of the few men who are qualified to go out on their own. Well done Phil.

For the rest of you, the combination known as The West Whitman Estate will begin accepting applications early next week.


  1. tagged in some crazy blog by david again thinking, i wonder how i fit into this picture. besides the fact that i'm engaged to Jeff and Tye. Hm.

    wife in law? haha

  2. I'll be expecting your application soon.

  3. yeah i'm filling it out as we speak...

  4. In all seriousness, I think that there is something to be said for having close relationships with more people. We live in such an insulated society, I don't think a proposal that would bring society closer is such a bad idea.

  5. Yeah, the more i think about it, i don't think that i would be up for some kind of property sharing venture, but i definitely think that it would be beneficial to live in a tighter community. I also think it would probably be beneficial to spend more time with "the guys" or "the girls" or whatever.

  6. More names,

    Kenny & Christy
    Nick & Stephanie

    David, I hope your ideas find tilled soil before it's too late.

  7. Well, i was hoping to use your unplowed field as one of the places to plant. All we really need are the members of the estate, and their eventual counter parts and we should be good.

    Spokane or Seattle could actually work I think. Either place would be pretty easy for Cody and I to start our law firm, and you and Alban could get jobs as teachers... you're going to be a teacher by the way... just accept it. And there are universities where Phil could do his thing, or just live off abigail. It's fool proof.

  8. Nice post. Great ideas. On the one hand: this sounds a bit like what heaven will be. On the other: you are insane.