Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Man Cards

So, i stayed up pretty late last night.

The next morning as i prepared to trudge off to a capitalist's idea of a great 9-5, i decided to stop and get something with enough caffeine to ensure my employability. This is where i witnessed a crime against the human spirit.

As i stood in line next to what Starbucks apparently considers cutting edge music, i saw him. He was soft. Wearing an ill conceived polo and plaid shorts combo. It was clear this man hadn't been touched by manual labor in years. The only callus on his body was where his tongue rubbed against his teeth whenever he submissively uttered his life's motto, "yes dear." This guy had clearly turned in his "man card" years ago. However, what put me over the edge was when he ordered a "venti chai green tea... with no foam."

I turned my head and looked at him, symbolically offering him a chance to say he had made a mistake and choose something else, but he just smiled.

Ordinarily i would have been eager to commence the proceedings by which a man must forfeit his man card to a man of greater qualification. But not today. Because the ceremony would have consisted of the two of us handing our cards to each other as i ordered a "tall soy carmel latte" and politely asked the barista if she could put it in the old hipster thermos that i had brought from home...