Tuesday, March 22, 2011


Never, ever, ever, ever say it like that again, you ignorant gringo. Seriously. Jaguars take great pride in their heritage. As such, you must always pronounce Jaguar, Hhhaaaguarrrrrrr. Lots of h. Lots of r. It feels good, doesn't it? Just let that r keep rolling.

Jaguars require the most respect of the wild cats. They have ancient souls. In fact, according to some Mayan legends, it is Yaguar Sol who rises each day in the east and prowls across the sky to the west. And I think you know how to verify that one: east to west, 24 hours, spring equinox, un templo del sol erĂ³tico, and BAM! 365: believe it or not.

Jaguars are passionate. They do not mess around with things - they are passionate about them. For example, Jaguars do not take food lightly. Unlike other cats, they do not eat their meat raw. Instead, they eat it seasoned and medium-rare. This might be a concern for future owners, as it requires more time to prepare each meal, but it might also be a benefit. Jaguars are surprisingly giving and have been known to enjoy sharing their meals with others.

One important quality that distinguishes the Jaguar from most other cats is its love for swimming. In fact, as you may have already guessed, Jaguars are passionate about swimming. They really get into it. If you and your young Jaguar decide to go swimming around Caimans, however, make sure you have a talk first to avoid a nasty surprise.

The Tickle Closet thinks the Jaguar is an ideal pet for recently broken-up singles who need a little passion back in their lives. Especially bilingual singles who enjoy swimming.


  1. Apparently jaguars are excellent models as well. Look at that pose. Perfect.

  2. I like to guess the author of the post before I see who it actually is at the bottom.

    I totally guessed this one right. Ha.